With Me
by Frau-chan n Yaa-chan
Summary: A young university professor with strict demeanor, serious and anti-social have to finish her book before a deadline. and there's a calm, playful and gorgeous doctor with busy schedule and life to be save. heck! what is the doctor have to do with a professor? Read it. AU and OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:  
**

****Hi,

this fic written by Yaa-chan. Please, do review and tell me if there are future and hope for this fic. Thank You.

:)

Yaa-chan

**PROLOGUE**

A soft and slow music resound in the hall. A lone figure dancing ever so gracefully at the center. Her hair tied up in a bun, sweat glistening her neck indicating that she had dancing long enough but didn't want to stop. Her eyes were close hiding the secret of the beholder behind the beautiful lash. Hand softly extending, gracefully stepping and turning, her body move swiftly with full control of apprehension. The hall are empty and the light had been dimmed.

"BEEP..BEEP.." a beep sound clearly echoed. The figure stop in its track and walking like floating in the air toward nearby chair. Upon reaching an electronic device, she raise it in front of her face and read the messages. Calmly, she reached for her coat and walk toward the exit.

Walking briskly, she then arrive at the door, and upon pushing it open, another women dress in nurse outfit immediately step toward her and follow behind while explaining the situation.

"Doctor, a patient has arrived. Female, age 20, name Kuga Natsuki. State unconscious with blood pressure 60. We already sent her to ICU, they said she suddenly faint during meeting. Blood discharge from nassal. " the nurse said in a hurry and handing the doctor the patient file.

The female doctor open the file and examine the data with precise for the patient life might be in her hand. "Blood? Does patient had any medical history"

"No, doctor. She had been stated healthy and having regular check-up at nearby hospital"

"Senou-han, called Dr. Kanzaki and ask him to meet me in the ICU soon. Also, I want my regular anesthetist be there."

"Yes, doctor."

The doctor immediately proceed toward ICU ward and walk toward the patient bed.

_hmm..blood discharge..might be blood clot? Heat? Injury? Stroke? Which one?_

She spread open the white curtain, and on the bed, lay a female with dark blue tresses. She still unconscious but her breathing slow and steady telling her that the patient not in critical state. The doctor displeased. Looking at the angiography. _The patient heart beat too slow. Pressure too low for my liking. Why?_

"Doctor! The blood pressure continue to drop! The heart…." the nurse said panicky.

"CPR!" the female doctor raise her voice. At the order, the nurse then cut open the patient shirt ready for emergency CPR.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Frau:**_  
_

This chapter is written by me, Frau-chan. This fic actually something me and Yaa-chan had come to agreement that we will write it by turn. This chapter is my turn, and the next one will be Yaa-chan. You will found different writing style and point of view in each chapter, due to different author. if you ever asked, did we read/proof each other chap, the answer is NO. Yaa-chan only read my chap through fanfic like all of you, after it already post, she will then post her chap. And the same also apply to me. So please review.

and...my other name on the internet is Shuu. you can reach me through my facebook account, Shuura Frau-Meyer.

Enjoy _With Me_

_Before you, my life is an empty shell...  
_

**Chapter 1 – Young**

Small yet flexible finger moving with fast speed on the keyboard typing. Sometimes the finger would nudge the spectacle on her nose bridge and sometime it reached a messy hair. Brushing the blue stranded hair that stubbornly shielding her eyes.

"Urgggghhh.." she grunted again. She had grunt so many times already that evening. Pinching her forehead, she slammed shut the laptop. The event of the afternoon came back to her mind.

**-Flashback-**

"Kuga-sensei. I'm sorry to tell you that we have to cut your budget on your thesis" an old man told the young one that has been standing in front of his desk.

"But, I'm already half done it. If you cut it, how can I finish it next year?" the young one complain. Hurt in her voice.

"No. You have to complete your thesis at the end of this year. There will be no funds for your thesis next year." The old man glance briefly from behind his reading glass before he again focus on the letter that he's been reading.

"Eh!? How come this happening? Didn't my proposal already stated the full account for my thesis, and it already been approved?"

"It's has been decided by the board of director. If you want to complain, you should ask them."

The young one glance briefly to another figure in the room. Another man sitting there reading newspaper not care much of the topic.

"Well, that's all I can inform you. So, you can go now." the old man said simply still not looking at her.

"Yes." She bowed and exit the room. Before shutting the door, she could hear sneer from the room. "Kids these day..they thought they can be more intelligent than old people. They just inexperience". She could hear chuckle from another person in the room.

**-end of flashback-**

She sigh. Looking around the room, trying to find something that could averting her mind from those typical situation. She had been facing a difficult life, being a young prodigy. Much to her disappointment, she was more intelligent than her average piers. Living a life with people much older than her, she put so much work on gaining people trust and not betrayed their hopes. At the age of 10, she already finished her junior high, and at the age of 16, she already a graduate student from international university. She had her doctorate degree when she's 19, and now at the age of 20, she is a lecturer and professor in local university. But, being so young in the working environment, people didn't trust her much. They take advantage on her young age, bullying her on doing extra work, sometimes ignoring her idea but then stealing it behind her. She had enough of it.

"_You are the new professor? Are you serious? You're still too young. Where your father?"_

"_Haha. Seriously, Kuga-san. You are too young to understand this stuff."_

"_Why are we having a kid for our lecturer? Is she really a doctorate?" "Careful, don't speak too loud. She'll hear you and cried afterward." "Then, give her toys." "hahaha"_

"_Kuga-sensei. We are now going to socialize, you know, drinking booze, karaoke, and spend night dancing in the club. You're still underage, so go back home."_

"_Hey, Kuga-san. Mind if you help me writing these. I'm busy. You know, my wife and kids need attention. But you have lots of time to write, right?. Old man like me has so many commitment. When you old enough, you'll understand later."_

"_Nat-chan. Mom trust you. You already a doctorate graduate, so have a living on your own."_

She hate it more. Lone tear sliding down her cheek. She gulping down the painful feeling she had inside. Hatred made her tend to secluding herself, getting away from society. She rather spent her time reading books and writing articles for a magazines. And so, she had more income to effort a luxurious living. But luxurious living she had, she didn't had any friend. Her life would be, going to work, lock out in her office, writing, working and reading. And when it time to leave, she would directly going home, cooking her dinner and eat alone in a big empty house. Such a lonely life she has. Full of emptiness. She sigh again.

"I should quit my job. I want a normal life. I should live a normal life like everyone of my age. I want to go to college, goofing around, walk aimlessly on street, go shopping, play game, and laughing with same age friend. I want a boyfriend and spend valentine with them" she said to nobody in the room. Another lone tear escape her eyes. Wiping the tears she inhale deeply and focus back on her laptop.

"I should finish this soon. Tomorrow I will discuss about my budget with the board. Stay strong, Kuga-sensei" she told herself. Giving herself encouragement she need most.

Her hand continue to dance on the keyboard again.

_I'm alone in this world. Maybe I will die alone too. All the money I have, the position I acquired, the respect and recognition I've received is not what I want. I want someone to fill this emptiness inside my heart. Somebody. Anybody. Save me. Please. I'm here..alone..lonely..waiting._

…

She walk brusquely on the tiles floor toward the meeting room. Behind those double door is four most influential peoples in her department. She need to get the approvement to continue her research. She would plead if she have to. Pleading. That bring back memories of her high school life where she would pleading with her classmate to spare her. Age different make her the victim for bully since she is the youngest amongst all the student in high school. For now she had nothing else matter in her life other than her thesis. Her work, her research and her thesis is her life. What else she would do if she failed to gain their trust on it? Pushing the big double door, she inhale deeply to calm her heart. She felt dizzy a little, maybe because she nervous.

"Good afternoon, Sir."

"What do we have here" the first person exclaimed. Reaching for a file on the big desk and silently read the information.

"Good afternoon, Kuga-sensei." The second person greet.

"Well, you came today to appeal for the budget on your research. I say, Kuga-sensei…ehem.." the old man cough before he proceed. "the board of director already come to conclusion and the decision already been made."

They also had that look in their eyes. The look that said she just some kid, inexperience, should go back home and this is not a playground. That arrogant look. She hate it.

"Sir, I need the budget in full because its now a critical stage of my research. If you cut down my budget, then, the result will not be what it suppose to be." She stay firm on her resolution. She will fight for her research

"well, we have more important researches on the table and all of it is more critical than yours. You could take a sabbatical break and continue later on.." another person chuckled, and the one talking continue "…or you could use your own money. I hope you already read the annually report of the department about next year plan before you came here…."

She tried to focus her attention to the detailed explanation from her director. Standing straight and keep her eyes and ear sharp. Keep her full attention but her eyes feel so heavy. Maybe lack of sleep take a toll on her. Inhale again, she keep her focus. The room look spinning and she felt light head.

"Kuga-sensei. Are you alright?" she could hear distantly a voice asking her.

"Huh!?.. Ahh..yes, sir. Please continue." She tried to form the word. But it sound so weak.

"No. your nose bleeding"

"What…?" she reached her nose and the red liquid coloring her finger. Before long, darkness engulfing her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Yaa-chan;  
**

Hai ho~Yaa-chan desu. I miss internet so much. I miss Frau-chan sooo much. I want to hug you, my cute little monkey. XDDDD

ah! sorry about the grammatical side of this fanfic. I don't know how to use this ipad. This is really confusing me, there are no grammar check on this. ney..ney...how to use grammar check on ipad? Anyone know? I'm pathetic with tech.

well then, enjoy!

ah~ for you _"Before you my life is a lonely road that I never realized "_

**Chapter 2 – Grumpy**

"CPR!" the female doctor raise her voice. As the doctor order, the nurse then cut open the patient shirt ready for emergency CPR.

"Ara!.." she paused. The form in front of her startle her. Coughing silently, she tried to focus back on the task at hand. There's a life to be save.

"Doctor, you're thinking that again, are you." Her nurse warned.

"Ara-ara. Whatever does Senou-han mean?" she mention innocently. "Focus, Senou-han."

The nurse just smile, wiping the patient lip with cloth and took the breathing aid to start the CPR.

"Senou-han. Let me." She stop her nurse. _Ahhh..the lips look so delicious_. She mused. "Mmmmuuuaa…"

"Doctor, as I see it..you are not perform CPR, but more like kissing her." Her nurse said in a matter of fact tone.

"Eiihh? Senou-han. I am doing CPR on her. See" she grin innocently, again. Another nurse interrupt with emergency report of cardiac arrest rhythms.

"Doctor. Patient life in danger. Be serious, please."

"ehem.." she cough and averting her gaze. "De..defibrillator..bring it here."

"Doctor, ready!"

"1..2..3.. pulse!"

"Flat!"

"Errr.." she paused.

"Doctor!" her nurses yell panickly.

"Okay! Okay!" she now perform CPR with precise practice.

"Patient has been stabilized. Well done, Doctor." The relieve tone of her nurse finally stopping her. Iiiiyaaaadayo..._She taste sweet_. The doctor wipe her lip. _Gochisousama deshita._

"Anoo..Fujino-san. Why are you performing the mouth-to-mouth CPR where you can have nurse using the breathing aids?" another doctor who passing by stop as he look at the event.

"Ara, Kanzaki-han. Can't you see? I'm an enthusiast doctor."

The male doctor just chuckle.

….

….

"Calling for Doctor Fujino. Please proceed to ward 1307. Ward 1307 immediately" the intercom in the hospital stop the doctor in the middle of her lunch.

"Mm? that VIP patient again? What is it this time? The nurses must be hard to handle it themselves this time." she finish her lunch and calmly sipping her green tea before stand up and put on her coat. Stethoscope neatly tucked in pocket, she walk gracefully toward the VIP section of the hospital.

Exhale, her hand reaching for the door knob and opening it slowly.

ZAAAAPPPP! BAAAPPP!

A book flying past her head. She was lucky it miss her a few inches. She stopped in her track and trying to process the situation. _That was close. What is it this time?_

"I said I want my doctor here NOW!" a loud husky voice rang from the room.

"I'm sorry, sensei. We already called your doctor. She is on her way."

"What taking so long! Do you want me to sue your hos…"

"I'm here. What is it?" the doctor interrupted suddenly.

The patient look directly at the doctor. "I need to get out! I can't do my work here. Release me."

"No."

"What! Are you deaf? I want to get out! I said release me!"

The doctor exhale. Walking toward, she reached for the patient file at the end of the bed. "Natsuki…"

"It's Kuga-sensei…"

"Kuga-sensei." She look at the patient asking a permission to proceed with her explanation. The patient nodded.

"Three days ago, you have cardiac arrest."

The patient raise her left brow.

"It's mean you are in critical state where your heart stop and your blood pressure drop significantly."

There the sadness in the patient eyes. Ignoring it, the doctor continued.

"You came here unconscious, blood discharge from nasal, low blood pressure, no breathing and cardiac arrest. We have performed defibrillation and CPR for more than 8 minutes before your condition stabilized. Fact is you had died for more than 8 minutes there. Welcome back from underworld." She chuckle before proceed again "I say, you should stay here. We need to do MRI-scan and examine your condition further."

"Woman!..."

"Doctor Fujino." She smile again.

Now her patient glaring at her. Minutes passed and one could feel the temperature drop in the room. The doctor smile smugly. _This is quite enjoying for me. Ara-ara. Cute puppy glare there._

"Doctor…. Fujino." The patient sneer. "It seem you didn't listen to me just now."

"Ara-ara." She put her finger to her cheek in a thinking pose. "Which part, Kuga-sensei?"

"tsk..I said, release me now."

"No!"

"What!?"

"No. I won't sign your release."

"Why?"

"You are my patient. I say you need to do the scan and few tests first. If I found that there's nothing wrong with you, I will release you."

"And when will be all this stupid scan and tests could be done?"

"Hmmm…." She now tapped her foot on the floor. "Now?" she pause "the soon the better. Nurse, called the radiology and arrange for Kuga-sensei's scan. Send the result to my desk."

The doctor smile toward her patient. "Nice to meet you, Kuga Natsuki. From now on, I am your doctor, Fujino Shizuru. From the Special Unit" She walk toward the door and open it. "Ohh..and by the way. Don't be so grumpy. As much as I like to kiss you, I don't want to perform CPR on you again."

"Ki..Ki…Ki…Ki…." now her patient point a finger accusingly at her. Eyes wide in horror.

"Ja. See you soon, sweetheart." She fly a kiss before closing the door behind.

"YOU! DEVILLLLLL!" she could hear her patient yelling from the room.

_What an interesting patient I have here. It's been so long since I had cute puppy for my patient. I might enjoying her stay. Ara-ara._

_(Thank you for pointing out the mistakes, Romanica-san. Already double checked and corrected by Frau-san)  
_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:  
**

****I know that we write this fic under romance and drama genre and it seem the 3 chapter still around angst. sorry. but, don't worry, the situation will improve after this. please, write the review.

_"My life is useless anyway, but you have given it a meaning"_

_ - Shuura Zh. Meyer  
_

**Chapter 3 – Pitiful**

"Hey..wake up." A smooth voice reached her ears. She feels weak. Trying to open her eyes, she had to blink few times before the blur disappeared. Looking around, she sees white ceiling with bright light. "Urrggghhhh..too b-bright."

"Nurse, dimmed the light a little." With the order, she now could comfortably open her eyes. She could see her doctor standing beside her in blue scrub clothes.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"You're in emergency room."

"W..why?..I was just sleeping.."

"Sleeping, ne…You have another attack before. So we brought you here in case we have to perform emergency open defibrillation surgery." The smooth voice informed her.

"Attack..?" she had confused look now.

"Kuga-sensei. You had died the second time. Welcome back from underworld. You like underworld so much, do you?" the doctor now chuckle.

"urrghh..quit the joke." She tried to raise her hand but it's a futile attempt. It felt heavy.

The doctor sigh. "Kuga-sensei. I'm sorry to inform you, I haven't found the cause yet. From the diagnosis, all I see is you are fine in every way. There is nothing wrong with your heart. I also check your MRI and found nothing there. I have to ask you a few questions later"

The doctor now focused on her nurse. "Bring her back to her room."

…

"Now, where were we?" the doctor began. "Ara, yes. I have to ask a few question regarding your lifestyle, diet, activity and etc..etc..etc.. let see.." the doctor raise a form in her hand. "First I need to ask you of your family medical history." The doctor takes her sit near the bed before she continues "Do any of your families has any heart disease or other diseases?"

"I..I don't know."

"Ehh?"

"I…" she stops for a moment and taking her time. "I don't know my father side… but my mother side doesn't have any disease…I think."

"You think..?" the doctor asked again.

"My parent divorce before I was born. I never met my father. And from the legal paper that my mom fills for my school, she had written no disease."

"O..kay. Are you drinking?...smoking? and your family, anyone smoke? "

"No. I don't drink and smoke. The last time I meet my mother she don't drink much and don't smoke."

"Last time..?"

"My mother doesn't live with me."

"How about your friends? Housemates? Urmm..boyfriend? Or someone near you? Do they smoke?" the doctor ask without averting her gaze from the form.

A minutes pass in silence and she didn't answer the question.

"Kuga-sensei?"

"…..what?"

"Hmmm..do anyone near you smoking?"

Closing her eyes, she answering the question with the real fact of her life. "I don't have anyone." That manages to stop the doctor in the middle of her scribble.

"Friends? Colleagues?"

"I live alone. I spend my working hour alone. I don't socialize much. So I don't have friends."

The doctor now looks directly at her.

"Don't pity me." She tried to ignore that look. Finding the strength she had been holding on. "Please continue"

"…"

"Doctor."

"Do you exercise?"

"Yes. I exercise according to schedule. I practice karate-do."

"and your schedule?"

"In my organizer. You can call my office to get it." She then gives her office number, her address and other related information. The doctor continues with her questionaires and writes all the needed information to narrowing down the possibilities that could help her.

"Kuga-sensei. Do you have anyone we would like to contact in case of emergency?"

Again, she gritted her teeth and clutches her hand hard. Seeking the strength. "N.." she gulping down the lump. "No…one.". One lone tear succeed to slide down from her left eye. She hates to admit it. The pain in her heart. The lonely feeling she's tried to ignore. She close her eyes. Inhaling deeply. She could feel the doctor thumb smoothly wiping away her tear.

"I will take care of you. Trust me. Kuga-sensei." There is sympathy in her doctor's tone. She really hates to receive sympathy from people. She doesn't want any sympathy. Much more a pity.

Opening her eyes again, she was greeted with a peculiar red color orbs and she wonder, maybe this is the shinigami that would take her away from this world. If it is, she would be glad to end her suffering now. _Take my life now. It is useless anyway and I have given up the hope to continue on living._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

I'm sorry for late update of this story. I've been busy with my study and works.

"You show the good side of me behind this twisted and fake facade"

-Iliiya -

**Chapter 5 – Sad  
**

Lone figure sitting in front of glass table. A deem white light from nearby lamp lighten the office shadowing the figure. Rising to her feet, the figure clad in white rob raise a big black sheet and place it on the wall before switch on much brighter white light.

The figure sighs deeply after looking at the x-ray image in front of her. "still…nothing wrong with her. What could it be?" the figure said to no one in the room.

Shizuru stare long enough on the x-ray in front of her looking and examine every detail. This is so pathetic. I can't even figure out any of this. At the thought, she again crashes her tired body on the black leather couch. Pinching her nose bridge trying to clear her vision again, she reaches another file on the side table and read carefully on the information given.

Her patient, Kuga Natsuki seems to suffer a mysterious illness. Her hospital fees are fully paid by the insurance company. Hmm..in case of emergency….? Shizuru flip on the next page and on the next kin to contact area is….empty.

Empty? Is she an orphan? But there is no orphanage status on her. why…

"Calling for Doctor Fujino, please go to emergency unit now. Emergency unit"

Hissing, Shizuru immediately reach her stethoscope and run toward door, opening it hurriedly and run toward the emergency room.

As she reach her destination, her nurse already in scrub giving Shizuru a hint about the case behind the emergency door. "Status!' the doctor asks simply as she too now ready for surgery procedure. "Patient…Kuga Natsuki"

"Natsuki!?" she interrupt her nurse, shock in her voice.

"Doctor…another attack occurred at 21:15. Cardiac arrested."

"What! Why didn't you call me earlier.!" she hurriedly does the procedure and hastily walks to the surgery room. The body in front of her already strips off clothes and breathing aid machine busily working nearby.

"No. We won't do the open heart. Just give me the defibrillator!"

"Doctor, ready."

"1…2…3.. now!" the defibrillator hit the chest and electric surge run as the body on the surgery table raise and falls again onto the bed.

"Come on, Natsuki! Wake up!" Shizuru pump her hand on the heart area. Beads of sweat start to form on her forehead.

"Natsuki! Wake up!" Shizuru could feel tears start to well in her eyes. A flashback of the afternoon event comes to her mind.

...

_"Woman!..."_

_"Doctor Fujino."_

_"Doctor…. Fujino. It seems you didn't listen to me just now."_

_"K..K…K…K…. YOU! WOMANNNNNN!"_

_...  
_

"My Natsuki! Come to me!" as she desperately calling back her patient from unconsciousness, her hand push much harder until a nurse stopped her hand.

"Doctor, the heartbeat return normal…"

At the notice, she exhales the air she didn't even remember she was holding. A surge for relief runs through her.

Please, Kuga-san. Give me a chance to save you. I am your doctor and don't you dare die on me.

A grunt coming from the body that laid on the surgery table.

Touching her patient cheek, she close the distance and whisper "Hey, wake up"

"Urrggghhhh..too b-bright." another grunt from her patient.

Shizuru turn toward nearby nurse and order her nurse "Nurse, dimmed the light a little."

"Where am I?" her patient asked.

"You're in emergency room."

"W..why?..I was just sleeping.."

"Sleeping, ne…You have another attack before. So we brought you here in case we have to perform emergency surgery." She tried to coo smoothly toward her patient.

"Attack..?"

"Nats….Kuga-sensei. You had died the second time. Welcome back from underworld. You like underworld so much, do you?" she could feel relieve when looking at the shocked face of her patient.

"urrghh..quit the joke."

How should she tell her patient about her condition. She had failed to seek her patient's illness. How much longer she had left. Another attack might happen any moment and there's no guarantee that next time she could called back her patient like tonight. Shizuru sigh. "Kuga-sensei. I'm sorry to inform you, I haven't found the cause yet. From the diagnosis, all I see is you are fine in every way. There is nothing wrong with your heart. I also check your MRI and found nothing there. I have to ask you a few questions later"

"Aoi…Bring her back to her room." turning around she walk out leaving the nurse to proceed with the task.

….

Entering the patient room, Shizuru was greeting with a side look of her patient looking outside the windows. Somehow, the sitting figure on the bed looks so lonely and sad. Green eyes staring blankly without realizing the other present. The eyes then shift toward the doctor, now standing idle in the middle of the room.

"Doctor…."

"Ah! Urm..Natsuki-san, I have to ask a few questions regarding your medical history. This can help me to find your illness cause."

"Do what you need to do, tomorrow I want you to discharge me no matter what."

Shizuru sigh heavily. This patient is really hard to control. But she is so cute and…that lonely look on her is somehow…touching. Why am I thinking like this now? After all the love affair and flirting I have, now I become so melancholy about this all? Who am I kidding? Yare-yare…

"Now, where were we?" the doctor began. "Ara, yes. I have to ask a few question regarding your lifestyle, diet, activity and etc..etc..etc.. let see.." Shizuru take a seat near her patient and open the questionnaire file.

From the session, now Shizuru getting knows more of her grumpy patient. Such a grumpy patient she is..maybe it's because of her upbringing. She thought that would be the case, but what reveals later..it was just so sad, so pitiful. And yet, what can she do to help this child? This poor child named Natsuki. Her heart cried, bleeding for this child. What can she do?

Having no one to take care of her, living an empty lonely life..alone..this Natsuki giving all the grumpy and strong image outside to buried her loneliness and sadness inside her heart.

What can she do?

As a doctor, of course treat her patient accordingly would be the main priority. The illness of the physical body could be treat by medications. But what about her heart illness? It would kill this child eventually, from inside out. More than the physical illness inflicted.

It was then, that Shizuru had made her resolution. It's now or the chance would never appear again. She herself has to take care of this patient. She will cure her physical illness and at the same time, show this patient her bright happy future, giving hope and be her friend in need.

Therefore Shizuru had swear to herself and her patient, "I will take care of you. Trust me. Kuga-sensei.". This will be the start of her mission.

….

Shizuru slowly close the door behind her. Tears betrayed just a little try to well up in her eyes, but she had to be strong. No! don't weep. Don't cry. I must be strong for my patient. She still alive and as miserable as she is, someday her life will change. I will make this happen.

"I see you are interest in this patient, Shizuru-sensei" a masculine voice startles her.

"Ah! Reito-sensei. How long has you stand there?"

"Long enough to see that look on your face."

"Ara? What look?"

"That looks. The longing look as if you want to run and hug someone." Reito glance to the name plate on the door "Kuga Natsuki, ka? Hmm…Interesting."

"Don't ever think about it, Reito-sensei" Shizuru voice snare a threat.

"Ma-ma..Shizuru-sensei. I will not unfaithful to you." With that Reito slam his arms forward and trap Shizuru against the wall. "My offer to you still open.."

"You are quiet persistent, Reito-sensei"

"In love we must be persistent"

"I had told you, I'm not swing your way."

"How do you know when you didn't even give me chance. Say, we can go to any empty room and let's try having sex. I can guarantee you, once you feel….." a slap rang across Reito's face leaving the red marks. And with that, Shizuru push Reito far from her "Don't!" she gritted her teeth "..don't ever think you can touch me with your filthy hand, male!" with that she turns around to leave.

"Shizuru-sensei….If I can't get you then, that Natsuki will be mine.."

The words manage to stop in her track "I see. You are more filthy than animal, male!"

"I can see you are also interest in her as well…." Reito smile wickedly. "Now..let see who can get her first." Raising to his feet, Reito look straight at Shizuru before he walk leaving her behind to her thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5 – Home**

"You are my forever home where my heart belongs to."

-Shuu -

"Doctor, I need you to release me."

"But, Kuga-sensei….."

"Immediately…."

"We still haven't figure out your condition yet. I'm afraid, if anything happen to you after you…"

"..it doesn't matter. To you or to me. I need to finish my work. That's what more important to me..more than anything"

Shizuru sigh heavily. _Really..such a stubborn one here._

"I'll sign your release. But, if you feel uncomfortable, call me immediately. This is my phone number." Shizuru hand over her card.

…

Finally, out of the hospital ground, Natsuki inhale deeply of the town's air. The birds are chirping in the distant calling back their young ones back to nest. The afternoon orange rays coloring the ground of Fuuka making the scenery ever so picturesque.

Walking toward her destination, Natsuki taking the view of her neighborhood enjoying the freedom she need. The hospital's smells sickening her, the sounds of clattering footsteps of doctors and nurse deafening sometimes it accompanied with the loud voices of the visitors.

At last, she arrive at her office. Her heaven. Her life. Her whole world. She will definitely make it through with her paperwork. After all, this is what she had been giving all her efforts. This is where she belongs. The dark lonely office where she spent her life, and hopefully, this is where she would like to end it. Smiling to herself, Natsuki closed the door behind her and proceed toward her desk. Flipping open the power button of her electronic device, the deem light not so bright shine over piles of book over her desk. Works to be done, research paper to writes. Work….such a solemn place to die. Natsuki laugh inwardly. _Do I want to die this badly in my own office? My office, out of all place. And why am I being so melancholy about this. I'm not going to die before my war over._

Inhale deeply, Natsuki read her pending paperwork and began to typing on her laptop.

It was as she proceeds to end her paper with the last click of her mouse, the research she has been working on finally print-out. Do she feel fulfill? What is her feeling right now, then….

_**Emptiness….**_

…_**..**_

_**Empty….**_

"and so…." The syllables escape her mouth. "I better get a cup of Starbuck Coffee to celebrate my paperwork." A lonely smile graces her face. Standing up, Natsuki grab her coat but something stopped her.

Her chest hurt like a bomb would burst out of it any moment. Clenching hard at her chest, she tried to inhale the little air she could effort into her lung. But it was useless. _What happened? _She collapsed on the ground_. No! I haven't submitted it yet. No! I need to make sure my paper work out…heck! Why am I worrying about my paper now?_ A face comes into her mind. Smile of the red orbs and lips pronounce each word with care. _"I will take care of you. Trust me. Kuga-sensei."_

As her vision start to get blurred, her hand desperately reaches for her mobile phone in her pocket and press number 1. The ring could be heard on the other line and with a click a voice reach Natsuki ears…but it was too late for her since her eyelid start to get heavy. Calling the strength left she tried to form a word into the receiver as the darkness takes over her.

"Help….."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**

Hi Ho~

In honoring and courtesy to Guest22 who point out the mistake and the good will from he/she had reached me, its my pleasure to edit this chapter again. Thank you for a very good review and constructive criticism, Guest22. Also to other reader, i'm sorry if the reviews had ruined your day, so I decided to delete 'those' review that dare to insulted you all, rather than point out the mistakes as a matter-of-factly. To those who wish to critic the story in the future, I do hope that you don't insult other readers whether they are anonymous or having an account. Please, appreciate their efforts to encourage the authors even if their review just 1 word. If you so desperate that you can't stop yourself from insulting other as you are as sadistic as me, then just insult the author herself, not the other reviews. Please, respect them.

So, to Guest22...This is for you.

well, then, happy reading ( ^.^~)

To my love, Frau-san;

"Hito wo suki ni naru, riyuu wa tte nai"

"There are no reason to fall in love"

-Kataomoi finally, SKE48

**Chapter 6 - Deal**

The smooth romantic music resound in the dinner hall. The restaurant was so luxurious in its awake shining with bright golden light. Peoples delighted having their meals, some excitingly talking and laughing loudly, few lovely couples dancing in the middle of the dance floor.

Shizuru calmly sip her wine and again look at her guests opposite the dining table. Young man age of 27, quiet handsome, rather nervous and fidgeting in his seat but trying to look high and mighty in her presence. Next to him, are his parents. The mother fanciedly wrap herself in expensive kimono of black color and yellow lily flowers decorating its front, while the husband, like his son, in their formal suit attire. Shizuru's parent although, prefer to present themselves in all formal traditional dress themselves. The statute and pride of Kyoto man and lady. That makes her out-of-place here somehow as she only in her all day simple working cloth, minus the lab coat. Not to mention, the fainted smell of drugs and antiseptics still lingered on her cloth. The meeting was out of her plan and she admit, she hates the idea. But, her mother forced her to come as she would press that the matter is very important for her future. She hate it, and she regret for coming to this "Omiai". Arranged marriage... when will her mother change. She wish that her page or her cellphone will start ringing. Much to her disappointment, neither of them are budging at the moment. What a bad luck she had tonight. She prefer spending her time with some patient in the ICU hearing them screaming of agony and pain. That like a more refined music to her ears. More beautiful than the musician play now. With the self monologue in her mind, Shizuru refrained herself from sighing. It is rude sighing during formal meeting as it show bored and not being respectful to their guest. Her mother had taught her that. Refine prideful Kyoto ojou-sama cannot sighing in the formal present of the guest, must sit straight as if a pole stick behind their back, must smile politely, not to wide showing teeth like a gleeful child, and not to slow and small indicating not interested. The professional smile she had to practice all through her child life now engraved deeply into her roots. It has become her second nature, the everyday mask she wear where ever she goes. She only slip out of the masked when she alone in her bedroom. Even though she crazily bored now with all the talk about business, merging company, future plan for the company, all she can hear is a faraway murmur. None of them registered in her mind for all she could think right now is her schedule for tomorrow, why haven't her cells ringing, how her patients condition right now or if they need immediate surgery and certain green eyed beauty. The beast that come suddenly to her hospital, barking a few puppy-like yelp, look so cute that she have to resist kissing her everytime and then, the hot temper beast leaving like a lone wolf. Oh, the lone wolf she was...leaving alone quietly. quite... I miss the wolf. A lonely sad smile crept upon her face.

"Ara, Shiz-chan. You like the idea too?" her mother chime into her attention.

"Ara, Okaa-san. I'm only interested in it but I like to know more detail about it" again, a polite smile grace Shizuru's lips.

"Oh, if you may Ogura-san. Shizuru seem interested to know more on your planned date."

_Aa...so that what they were talking about. Shizuru mused in her awareness._ Looks like her guest talking about future plan from their omiai. The next date.

"Y-you s-see. I plan on taking you oversea for two or three days. Is there anywhere you'd like to go?" her guest ask expecting an answer from her.

"Ara, Ogura-san. Wherever you like to go. I do not mind at all." Shizuru smile. But right now, I want to go back to my house and have a good night sleep for tomorrow I don't know when the emergency call knock on my door.

"I-if you don't mind, Paris is a nice place. We could take my private jet there and.." Ogura trailed off but he was stop when Shizuru phone ringing.

Shizuru didn't silence her phone, giving an excuse that her duty need her. And truth to her words, finally, her duty called her. She could feel relieved. The screen show unfamiliar number that it's not even in her phonebook registry. Part of her feel disappointed that its not from her hospital but she answered the call nonetheless.

"Hello..." silence greet her on other line. She wondered and tried again "He.."

"Help..." and the line went silence but still not hang up.

The deep husky voice on other line seem familiar to her. She could feel desperation in her heart to know who the caller is. "Hello! Who..." but before she could finish her question, an image of certain lone wolf came into her view. NO! It couldn't be. but...

Abruptly Shizuru stand, phone still in her hand.

"Ogura-san, Oka-san, Otou-san, I'm afraid I need to excuse myself for now. I deeply apologize for my untimely leave as my patient need me now. It's a nice dinner. Therefore, Ookini for the meals." Shizuru bow and walk away without looking back.

Upon outside, clearly the other line is still on.

"Kuga-san!" she raise her voice a little, but no answer came. Panic struck her.

Her finger fast but accurately opening the GPS application to track down the calling number. As her car reach in front of her, she leap into the driver seat, connect her phone GPS to the car and with that she race to her destination.

Still tried to talk to the caller, desperately hope nothing happened. "Kuga-san! hear me, I'm on my way now. So, stay with me!" the other line still silence.

Damn it! she curse silently in her mind.

"Kuga-san...Natsuki-san! please...be strong!" without turning off her engine or even closing the car door, she leap out of her car, grab her phone and run to her destination.

The room in front her was deemly lit. From the small opening of the door, a single light shine from the table lamp at the corner. She push the door quietly and the view in front of her startle her. If only she could see herself in the mirror now, all she see is her face white and pale drained of blood. There, Natsuki lay with the phone still on in her hand. No movement from the...body.

Shizuru lung forward and crash herself near the patient. Moving the patient so that she could lay on her back and flat on the floor, Shizuru start to examine her patient's condition. There was no breath or chest movement from her patient, but the heart beat is still there, although, it is faint and slow. Too slow to her liking. She must commence CPR here and now even without any medical help and equipment. It is a gamble. Gamble for one life she will not giving up on.

_Natsuki-san...Natsuki._ she called in her mind. The name without the suffix feels more comfortable to roll on her tongue.

I'm sorry for letting you go. Therefore, come back to me. Please. She could feel desperate, but she didn't know why she so desperate with this patient. what's the difference? maybe, this is the first time she failed in her diagnosis, and its fire her back. Its her fault after all and she feel guilty. that what her conscience told her. thats what her mind convinced her. she feel guilty. she had failed as a doctor when she let go her patient and leaving them to struggle. Alone.

A beads of sweat drop to her patient bared chest leaving a trail of moisture and her shirt already soaked when finally her patient coughing fiercely. ending the cough, the patient again fall into unconscious, but this time, the breathing is even and slow. Shizuru feel tired and her body feel heavy as she slumped next to the sleeping figure to rest. But inside, she feel relieved. Looking at the white ceiling she now realized where she is now. She is in her patient's office. Nat...Natsuki's office. A fainted fragrance of ocean and dry leaves float in the air. The smells of summer. Although it is a fall season now in Japan, here, in this room, it is still summer. the only missing is the sound of cicadas, the dampness and heat of summer day, the cold wind in the night. Inhaling the scent, she feel peace. She decide to ask her later about the fragrance. She want to buy it too and put it in her office. It immediately become her favourite.

Raising up, she pick her patient bridal style and proceed to bring her patient to the hospital.

Feeling rather tired, Shizuru decide to go to the hospital canteen to drink some tea. Lots of event happening and she already exhausted. Her mind and her physical, she didn't know which one worst. Going back home was out of question, for now, she had decided she would wait for Natsuki to awake. Her condition much better than when she arrive at her office, but she had giving her a drug to keep her sleep for more hours. Natsuki...such a one side selfish decision to called her patient first name basis without any suffix. Her patient herself had told her to called her by name of Kuga-sensei. And since when did it turn out to be different in her case. Maybe the long run reputation as a womanizer make her that brave. or more to say, its given her auto-allergic to a surname term. Womanizer is such a chronic disease in her case. she couldn't last long without some flirting with woman. Flirting, nothing more. No body contact or the disease will spreading and it become deadly worst. She didn't want to going back to hell. Hell she been live in her teen year and left when she decided it was enough. she must moving on, and her mentor had help her more than she ask. Now her mentor is not here to control her. She had going on long vacation to Egypt with her lover, a history teacher from Fuuka High School. Her mentor not with her here when she need it the most. The walk to the hallway was quiet and lonely. There are no nurse walk by. Her lone step resound in the hall.

"Shizuru..." a suave voice invade her peaceful tour.

"Ara, Reito-han.." although the invader shocking her at the moment, Shizuru indifferently look at him.

"I heard from the ICU room..are you fine?"

"No need for Reito-han to worried about me. I'm a doctor, I know when I'm not fine."

"Shall we have some tea together. I'm on my way to canteen now." the offer sound kind to Shizuru ears, but who know the motives behind them.

Still not believing in Reito for the past incidents, Shizuru raise her brows at the offer.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything to you." Reito raise her hand shielding himself from the stare.

Sighing, Shizuru agreed to fancied the offer. With that they both continue to walk silently to the canteen.

As both reach the table with tea, they sit still. No words from Shizuru as he just looking sideways, her mind still picturing the evening event like a movie in slow motion.

"Shizuru..."

No answer from the brunette. Maybe she didn't even listen to the call.

"Anoo...Shizuru." the voice raise much louder and Reito hand reach for Shizuru sleeve tucking it gently.

"Ara..." Shizuru retract her hand from Reito range, feeling uncomfortable.

"She will be fine." a sympathy voice from Reito seem fake to her ears.

"Hmmm..." and Shizuru dismiss the sympathy like it was just an empty words.

As there only a simple answer from Shizuru, the table again fall into silence.

...

"You seem so worried about this patient."

"It's nothing." Shizuru tried to avoid talking about the topic. It make her anxious.

"Really, Shiz. I've known you from childhood. I know when you are worried."

"What's make you think you know me much? Only a few months ago, you were shock to know that you're childhood friend is a lesbian." Shizuru snickered.

"Hahahah...I never thought you to be one. You never seem to be like that when I last seeing you before." Reito hand reaching behind his head and scratch it like a foolish.

"You never knew...and that last seeing is 16 years ago, when I still 10"

"...ne, Shiz. Is there nothing we can do about us?" there were no mistaken for a glint of hopeful in Reito pupils.

"by us..you mean you and my father company?"

"That's...not what I mean."

Shizuru sigh. "Reito, why would a well-known playboy like you want a steady relationship with a lesbian like me? I'm not interested in you, or any man"

"Oh, so the womanizer accuse the playboy now?" Reito snickered back.

"Whatever. I like the way I am now. I know you only want to have steady marriage with my father company." Shizuru arms raise to her front and hugging herself. Her lab coat ruffling from the action.

"and you want to have steady relationship with that patient when you already have lots of "girl" friend every where?"

"I don't have any." Shizuru looking sideways avoiding stare from Reito.

"You were saying, with all those flirting, no girl "befriend" you?" now Reito start to make her angry.

"Stop making it sound...fake. Do a lesbian must have girlfriend?."

"Guest you are not meant to be womanizer..maybe no women will truly fall in love with a lesbian like you. They also want your fortune"

"Stop it."

"Shizuru...I love you. The love you want, you can already have it in me. Just give me a chance" again with the hopeful tone. Shizuru hate it. Man only know how to talk sweet.

"And I don't love you. I'm not interested with man. You're lucky that I don't hate you like other men as I still consider you to be my childhood friend, so I forgave many things you do to me. So, don't ask the impossible from me"

"Then, how about this...I will give you six months. Six months to hook that patient. If you fail to make that patient fall in love with you, that prove that you are not meant to be a lesbian and you will give me chance after that. Deal?"

_What? The deal is so one sided. I have to do something and he do nothing? This is a stupid deal. But... _Shizuru mused.

"..and if I can do it?"

"If you can, then I will not disturb you again, or even asking love from you. I will forget about you, quit being playboy and find my own true love. Do you want anything else from me?"

"Hmmm...it sound interesting to me. I want you to parade in hospital with only a spender and wearing a bra."

_Now, that make a great deal for me. You'll see Reito, I will not lose to you. I never lose in dealing._

"What!...grrr..okay! deal!"

"Deal" Shizuru take the extending hand with a wicked smile on her face.


	8. Chapter 8

Ohayou! This is Frau,

special thanks to my beta-chan, Blackfang64-chan~ who take efforts and precious time to proofread my fic.

Also, sorry to all reader that this chapter takes time to post. Many things happen and I some kind having author mind block and many many events happened. In the process of writing this fic, I'm having lots of problem recalling back all the feeling I have when i was hospitalised, when I first meet Yaa-chan, and when I was in emergency room. All those feeling seems so distance now that I am happy. thats where my problem come because these chapter need all those feeling to expanded the story line.

therefore, happy reading minna-san!

"With you, there is no past, only future"

-Shuu

**Chapter 8 - Return**

_Beep...beep...beep..._

Natsuki could barely registered the unfamiliar sound around her. Trying to raise her arm, it felt strangely painful and restrained. Groaning deeply in her mind, she tried to open her eyes, only to be met with a white ceiling absent from the bright light. Blinking again to clear the blurry vision, she inhaled slowly. Something was attached to her face, more accurately in her mouth as she coughed fiercely. She could feel a surge of pain in her chest.

_What the... what happened to me? Where am I?_

Suddenly she felt a small sting on her left arm. _Ouch!_ She grimace, yet no word could escape from her.

Turning her head to the side, she could trace a silhoutte outline of someone. Again blinking, she still tried to trace the figure in front of her.

"Sleep...you need to rest" with the calm voice from the silhoutte, her vision turn to darkness again.

_Chirp...chirp...chirp..._

A smooth and calming wind blew across her cheek, an eerie chill awoke her senses from her slumber. Slowly she opened her eyes, regretting the decision afterward as the lights were too bright and blinding her. She felt her head splitting in two from the pain and ringing in her ears. "Urgggggghhhh!" a hoarse voice emerge from her.

"Pfttt... Ara..." a faint voice came from beside her.

"..."

"Wait, ne." the voice cooed softly.

Under the close eyelid, she could see the room dimmed a little as the curtain was being drawn. Again, trying her luck, she opened her eyes slowly this time, afraid of getting the same brightness attack. Her vision was still blurry, blinking a few times to clear them.

"Ohayou..." the same voice greet with a more cheerful tilting tone.

... _hurmm..._

Natsuki was trying to process her surroundings as her vision slowly became clearer.

"Ara...no answer, ne.." that voice mockingly said to her, obviously the person was enjoying teasing her.

_Hmmm...Who the hell is disturbing me now? I'm in no mood to play around. _She grumbled in her mind.

She felt something shuffling next to her, only to then be greeted by something cold and smooth touching her face. Not long after, a face came into view. Red eyes.

"O...ha...you...Nat..su...ki..." this time the devil dare to close the distance and greet her in such a tempting tone.

"...?" _Ohayou? Natsuki?_

1...

2...

3... minutes went by.

"Ei...eiyaaaaakk...uhuk..uhuk..." her shriek cut short by a cough. Painfully, she grab her chest.

"Ma..ma...calm down.." a hand came to reach her but she slapped it aside. _I can manage this myself._ She wince.

Still, those soft hands masagged her back as Natsuki sat herself up in a sitting position. A cup of water came into view as she was quick to reach for it, slowly she drank unaware of the person next to her and the hand that was holding it.

"eer..A..arigatou...anoo" raising her head, she was now facing the other person in the room. "...fuKK..." her eyes widen at the mystery person as no words were coming off her tongue.

"Welcome..." the other person smile sweetly. "You can call me Shizuru or Dr. Fujino since nobody has called me with the abbreviation form 'FuKK' before. And if i didn't know any better, it sounds like its... strangely provoking something"

Eyes twitching. _That's because its YOU who's again disturbing me._

"Let see...hmmmm..." the said doctor now putting a stethoscope ready for checking her. "Breath in..." she asked, her hand reaching for Natsuki's chest.

"W-where the hell are you touching me!?" she question her doctor, a slight blush arising on her cheeks.

"Where? On your chest of course." the doctor said indefferently.

"But..." Natsuki's brow twitched, felt as though she was ready to break the Doctor's hand any second now.

"What...? I am a doctor... so I know what I'm doing. Now breath in..." the doctor just nonchalantly ignored the cobalt haired girl's discomfort.

"I know you're a doctor..." Natsuki's tone now lower than her ordinary conversation level. She could feel the heat rising to her head and she could swear by now her face was drenched in a crimson colour.

"Ara..Ookini.."

"But I've also seen a doctor checking on a patient's breathing, so I know how the process goes." now her tone was slowly rising, almost sounding more treatening.

"Hai..hai..." again the doctor answered nonchalantly

"But... Dr. Fujino-san..." that ticked her patience.

"Nani?" the doctor just raised her left brow questioning like nothing she had done is wrong.

"Its look to me more like you're... molesting me!" this time Natsuki raised her voice while pointing to a hand that was obviously plastering on her breast

"Tehee... gomen ne... I was just... appreciating the softness of God's creation. Nothing else"

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE, WOMAN!" now Natsuki was pointing accusingly at her doctor's forehead but her hand was pushed aside calmly.

"Ma..ma... Now breath in... I need to record your health today."

"Hmpppffft..." Natsuki tightly locked her arms around her chest, guarding them from her obvious molester.

Knowing that Natsuki will not move from her stance, she decided to skip the process and clip the pulse oximeter to Natsuki's fingertip. Fortunately it will serve the same purpose for now, placing the stethostope in her pocket, she started writing the patient status on the medical card.

"Natsuki..."

"Didn't I told you to call me Kuga-sensei" Natsuki sneered.

"Hai, hai... Kuga-sensei. It seem like you're fine today. You can have a proper solid meal and I can now detached the IV from you."

"What happened to me?" Natsuki look seriously at her doctor.

"You don't remember?"

It took long for her to think and remember back on what had happened. For all she remembers, she was in her office finishing her work, and then she was ready to leave when suddenly...

"...Another attack." she said slowly. Sadness was evidence in her tone.

"Yes." her doctor stated in matter of factly.

"How did... I get here?" she look at her doctor.

It took some time for the doctor to answer. "You called me..."

"I... called you?"

"Yes... you called me. Although you didn't say a word, I received a call from you and... using a GPS tracking to find your location to find you."

"..."

"When I reached your office... you were already unconscious."

"..." Natsuki glanced at the IV attach to her arm. "Doctor... why?"

"Why what?"

"Why am I in this condition?"

"Thats..." the doctor sigh. "Natsuki... I deeply appologize. I can't give you the answer for now. For the last five days..."

Her eyes widen as Natsuki abrubtly faced her doctor "Five days? What do you mean five days?"

"You have been asleep for five days." again the room fell into silence before Shizuru decided to continue. "I have been trying all I can, from MRI, blood tests everything... yet... I can't figure it out."

"What!? Haven't you ask any other doctors or professionals about this?"

"Unfortunately, my mentor, the professional is not here. I wish she was here now. And right now, I am the second in charge of this special case unit. So, that makes me the referred person, not the other way around " reaching for Natsuki's hand, she hold firmly. "Gaman ne, I will do my best to save you..." with those said words, green eyes turned to face red orbs. There was a hope flickered in those eyes.

"Believe in me... Natsuki." for now, Natsuki just absentmindly disregard the changed in their calling name. Natsuki was speechless on her doctor's passion to save her. Those fierry red eyes that bore into her, strangely burning her heart and drowning her as if consuming her very soul. Inhaling deeply, she could feel her face burning up from the interaction.

...

Its been a week since Doctor Fujino came to check on her. Today she got a visit from the other doctor, making her wondering where the hell was Doctor Fujino. She had promised her that she will be trying her best to cure her, and yet... she was absent for a week already. She had asked the other doctor, but all they said is was taking a vacation for personal reasons.

_After all those promises she gave to me, she takes a vacation? Such an irresponsible person. Again..._

_Again and again..._

_People...betrayed me..._

_Again..._

_I am being abandoned._

_Why giveme hope if you want to abandon me afterward._

_Why gave me promises when all you do is betray them later._

_You are just the same as everybody._

_Everybody..._

_Mom_

_So called friends_

_Piers_

_Peoples around me..._

_They are all the same..._

_Fake smiles_

_Lies_

_False hopes_

_Only taking advantage, giving a false hope and empty promises_

_Leaving and abandoning me when they feel satisfied and relieved by getting rid of their guilt._

_Selfish..._

She could feel a sting lingering in her eyes and a drop of water fall on the page of the book on her lap, soaking the written words. Book... this is all I got... in the end, this is all I have.

A knock could be heard from the door. She turned her gaze towards the door and wipe her eyes with her pajama's sleeve. Without being welcomed, the door open and another unfamiliar doctor walked into the room.

"Hello, Kuga...errrmmmmm..." the doctor reached for her file, flapping it open "...Natsuki...chan"

_chan?_

She just ignored the doctor and continue reading the book. Sadness, angry and fury was still burning in her heart from her short self thinking about .

Looking briefly at her, the doctor chuckled and continued reading her file. "You are juuuuusstt how she told me."

_Whatever..._ Natsuki ignored the comment, feeling more annoyed.

"But..." the doctor looked again at her much longer this time. Maybe analyzing her. "Yes, you really are something... I could see why my dear apprentice had gone that far to look for me... aaaand... Looks like her heart was blinding her wisdom. Fallen angel... such an unlucky being" the doctor chuckled before she continued to talk to herself. "I am very shocked she couldn't find the so obvious symptom for your illness. aaahhh! Shizuru... you are on your way to disaster road if you continue to refrain yourself. "

At that familiar name, Natsuki abruptly looked at her doctor. "What!?"

"Huh?" her doctor look at her quizically.

"What... did you said earlier?" Natsuki repeated the question.

"Oh... I'm very shocked she couldn't..."

"No... you said... Shizuru.. I mean ?"

"Hmm?" The doctor raise her brow. "Shizuru...yes. I said Shizuru on her way to disaster road if she continue to-" again her patient cut her sentences.

"W...why?"

"Why?..." the doctor continued writing something on her file. "Well, for one thing, she was a talented and good doctor. That is why I'm taking her as my apprentice and raising her to her current position. I believe in her judgement and accuracy in diagnosis...but..." the doctor paused, taking a deep breath.

"But?" Natsuki was impatient to know what has happened to her doctor. Was her doctor.

"You see..." putting down her file, the doctor now taking a seat at the chair next to her. "Kuga-san. I am not as... soft and kind as Shizuru...so.. I will tell you bluntly what is your illness and what you will be going through from now on."

Natsuki swallowed hard, calling some strength before looking straight at the doctor, feeling nervous on what will the doctor tell her. "Tell me"

"Obviously, you have agnogenic myeloid metaplasia. Have you by chance having a little accident or bleeding and then you have them aid yourself as you are too lazy to go to hospital?"

"Hmm... I guess. A few months ago, I was injured when as my knees we're bleeding during exercise"

"That's explain it. You have a bacteria infection and your auto immune system is reacting to that infection, hence producing white cells to fight them. But... I think at that time you also had a fever. That fever is caused by this agnogenic myeloid metaplasia. When your bone marrow is trying to produce white cells to fight of the infection, it ends up in wrong way around. Instead of producing B-cells, it release T-cells and attack on the new cells that react to your bleeding and fever. Each time your body produces new cells, it will attack them, resulting in auto immune reaction like an electric surge. Your body will shut down, hence the unconscious events. Your white cells choose different cells to attacked and does not recognise the bacteria. So your body react to restore the blood cells by storing the cells in your lympomatic system. Thats why the blood count is being effected not so obviously. So we will give you some penicillins shot and medication afterward, that will stop your body from triggering the auto immune reaction from you, in the meantime, I will transfer you to a quarantine room for now. After that, we will still need to find you a donor. Luckily, its still in the early stage, so its just a surgery involving replacing a part of your bone marrow is with what is needed to cure it. The only problem is, finding a bone marrow donor that is compatible with you and here, your file states that you have no family members that I could find to test the compability for donor. That means, we have to find some non related donor, which are less than 50 percent compatible with you. The bad news is, if we couldn't find a donor for you as soon as possible... face it, you will eventually be in a critical stage of the disease. A frequent visit to quarantine room is needed from time to time as I don't want you to have auto immune blackout too much. Are you sure you don't have any blood related family left?"

"Well... I... I do have my mother but, I don't know how to find her."

"Well that is one good step forward. We can move from finding your mother from your civil record and insurance. Can you grant me an access to your civil record?"

"Yes."

"Nice. Well then, I should take my leave." the doctor rose from her seat and walked towards the exit.

"Urmm...doctor.."

"Yes?" at Natsuki's words, she stopped in her track.

"Shi... ..."

"Hmm?"

"Where is ?"

The doctor smiled at the mention of the name. "She's in the lab. Still working her ass finding your illness, where it just takes me a few minutes reading your record to detect them."

"Huh?"

The doctor chuckled. "Right now, that stupid apprentice of mine is blindingly looking for your illness... as soon as she comes back from endless days without rest" As the doctor opened the door she continue again "She even stupidly went as far as going to Egypt to look for me..."

_Egypt?_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: still, Thank you to ****beta-chan, Blackfang64**

be still my heart, you will find love in her

-Iliiya

**Chapter 9 - Falling**

Sounds of grunts and self-cursing echoed softly in the room. A lone woman sat behind the microscope, her eye heavily focused on the slide being magnified before she switched to a new slide. Black lines could be seen running along her eyelids, signs that she had not been sleeping the last few nights. Sighing deeply, Shizuru sat back in her chair, her mind feeling exhausted from looking at the same things over and over again.

"I never thought I would see my dear apprentice looking so passionately at the microscopic cells. And here I thought the hospital had utilized great technology in medical." came a voice from the entrance. The sudden visitor then walked toward the lab table, reaching for another slide. Raising the slide above her while examining it, she hummed a cheerful tune.

"Sensei..." Shizuru's eyes turned to find Yohko standing behind her, her eyes focused on the slide she held at eye's level.

"Sometimes, just a few tests is enough to diagnose the cause." her sensei stated as a matter of fact, her.

"I've already done all kinds of tests, but none of them can detect the problem." Shizuru answered sadly, disappointed at the evidence in her tone.

"The test was accurate, but it wasn't the machine at fault, only the humans who made the test." putting aside the slide, her sensei was now looking at her.

"What do you mean, Youko-sensei?" now Shizuru was ignoring the test at hand. At that enquiry, her mentor placed a familiar file on the table.

"I've already read all of these hundreds of times already." still, Shizuru took the files.

"No, don't read them. Instead, analyse them. Look carefully. Haven't I already taught you." her mentor sighed.

Shizuru inhaled deeply, focusing her attention on the files. Grabbing the cover, she opened them and read slowly, trying to analyse each and every figure, word even letter written on them. Her finger ever so slowing tracing the symptoms trying to find any clue or hint until it stop somewhere on the strange blood count. It is unbalance.

"Sensei?" Shizuru nervously addressed her mentor.

"So, have you found out the reason?"

Shizuru could feel her heart beating fast as adrenalin was being pumped into her system. Her hands now sweating, she gulped down the lump in her throat as she clenched her hand in a fist at her side. A solemn smile graced her lips. "Early stage of agnogenic myeloid" her voice trembled in an effort to clarify her mentor's diagnose. "I... I should've known..."

"Yes, you should've known" Taking a seat, her mentor continued. "Are you sure you're fine with this patient?"

"I'm fine" but Shizuru could feel her knees weakening.

"You are obviously not fine at all. Even I can see that you are less sharp than you should be."

"How sharp should I be?" Shizuru answered sarcastically.

Her mentor didn't seem bothered by the sarcastic answer. "You should have been able to detect those on the first day that patient arrived with a simple blood test. And yet, you come to me and only after I guide you, you finally realized the cause"

"That's..." no excuse could come from her. She didn't have any excuse to clarify her fault.

"When you came to me, it obviously shows that you cannot handle this. With that said, the moment I had touched this file, it means the case is mine now." the commanding tone of her mentor was unmistaken. Her mentor was obviously disappointed at her right now.

"Yohko-sensei. Please, give me another chance, at least let me help you with monitoring the pa-" Shizuru's pleas were cut short by the mahogany-brown haired woman.

"So the prideful and arrogant Fujino is now begging me." her mentor cut her with a sneer.

"I..." Shizuru looked at her feet, feeling ashamed at what she has done.

"When the needle is guided by the heart and not the mind, one should know when to retreat. Now go back and reflect on your fault. You can only come back when you are sure you are ready" Yohko could see that her words had dug deep into Shizuru's wounded pride, as much as it pained her to do so, she knew that Shizuru would have to learn things the hard way.

It felt hard and heavy to admit, but what her mentor said was true. "Hai, sensei"

"You may go now" her mentor's fierce eyes now focused on her apprentice's face. No smile graced her lips as she ordered Shizuru to leave the place.

Silently, without another word, Shizuru dragged her heavy feet out of the room and walked back to her dormitory.

-0-0-

Upon closing the door, Shizuru stared blankly at her feet as she stopped in her tracks to continue walking into the living room. Unable to refrain anymore, she crashed onto her knees and sobbed silently. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her home was dark and it felt empty to her. She cried in silence, pouring her heart and sadness. Yes, she is at fault. One life could have been lost and it would've been her fault. She could've lost a life. It's all her fault. She had made a mistake in her diagnose. It's all her fault. She discharged her patient when she failed to detect the problem. It's all her fault. And when the same patient falls again, having the same attack... it's all her fault. It was all her fault...

Yet...

When she entered the room, her heart started to skip a beat. She never felt so alive, again when she felt something warm and fluttering inside her, she should've known, she never could handle the surge of emotions. She should have known, she should've ignored her heart, dismissed it and hardened her mind. She should've just treated her patient like everybody else she's faced before. She shouldn't play and flirt with her patient. She shouldn't make those gambles. She shouldn't... She shouldn't... God is being unfair towards her. God is being unfair towards Natsuki.

"Nat... su... ki..." now she don't have the right to say that name anymore. A name belonging to someone she could have killed. For her mistake, her weakness, Natsuki shouldn't have to pay for her fault.

Wiping her wet face, slowly and weakly, Shizuru walked towards the fridge and grabbed a bottle. Opening the bottle, she gulped down the liquid. Emptying it, she grab another one and repeated the process. Finding there were no more bottles in the fridge, Shizuru decide to walk toward a nearby bar.

_Still, this amount of alcohol is nothing to me. I need more._

...

"Miss..." a worried bartender tapped her shoulder.

"Hick... Urgghhhh...what?" lazily, Shizuru squinted her eyes to focus her attention in her hazy mind.

"Pardon me, but we will be closing. I have called a taxi for you. You want me to help you to the car?" the concern voice of a young bartender reaching her ears. She barely heard the words spoken.

"Then... give me... hick... a bottle of tequila too." she made another request.

_This amount of alcohol is still nothing to me. I need more._

"Miss, you have already had enough.."

"Don't worry... I'm... hick.. A doctor... so... I know how... hick... much I can ...hick.. tolerate"

"Okay...here you are, miss. Now, can we get you to your car?" the bartender now took her arm and guided her towards the exit.

"Yeah, sure... hick..."

The ride was silent and dark as she finally arrived back at the hospital. Paying the fee without so much as a care, she wondered back to the dorms, her movements constantly swerving side to side as she struggled to keep her balance. Reaching her dorm, Shizuru landed on her sofa. Opening the liquor bottle, again she gulped down all of it, emptying it before she finally fell asleep.

The next morning, Shizuru woke up to a side splitting headache.

"Ara...ara ara ra... I'm having a hangover" Painfully holding her head while she walked toward the fridge, she retreat a can of beer, drinking it down with ease.

_A can of beer is enough to cure the hangover, ne._

_Cure..._

The word reminded her back to last night's event.

_But, there is no cure for my heart._

_No cure for my mistake..._

Her eyes glanced back at the can in her hand. _Hmmm... Another trip to the bar, perhaps? No... That's enough for twenty four hours already. More alcohol in my system is dangerous. I need forty eight hours to flush out the toxics._ _ That mean's eight to ten litres of isotonic water._

"Ma... enough time for me to... reflect and ready to move forward I guess" Shizuru sigh. _Maybe a trip to Kabukichou is good too. I want a soft and warm body._

That night, Shizuru walk to her regular club in Kabukichou district. A teal hair woman immediately recognized her.

"Hello, Shizuru. It's been a long time since you step inside this red district. What brings you back here?"

"Ara... Tomoe-san. Are you still... serving here?"

"I am... and will always be. You want my company? Or you want others?"

"And considering you are not an amateur anymore, how much are you charging then?"

"Haha, nice guess there." The woman just smiled at her favourite customer. "I will cost you more than thirty thousand yen for a session. What do you think?"

"I want fresh meat..."

"Still have a favourite for fresh meat, don't you, darling?"

"..."

"Hahahaha... this is hilarious. Now, if I'm not mistaken, you are not coming here for sex. Perhaps... A love problem?"

"..." now her brow twitched at the mention of the word. It's impossible for her to feel.

"Hah! Looks like I hit the nail! That's how I felt when you decided to leave me. It's painful, isn't it?" somehow a satisfied smile plastered on Tomoe's face disgusted her.

"It's none of your business." with an angry tone, Shizuru turned away to leave.

"Wait!" Tomoe grabged her wrist. "I don't charge for lending my ears for someone I love."

"You mean 'toyed with'?"

"Fufu... Okay. I admit. But it was worth it, wasn't it? Don't tell me you didn't enjoy the time we used to spend together, do you? All the wax, the cuffs and the whip... the trickling blood..."

"It was hell for me..."

"Hahaha, and I can make it heaven for you again."

"Tomoe..."

"Now, shall we retreat to a quieter place, so I can listen to you... or... serve you, if you want. It's only a matter of time before you'll be moaning and screaming my name in your orgasm."

"I need liquor."

"Will do, darling"

**...**

Shizuru walked slowly towards an office at the end of the hallway. The white surrounding painting is nothing new to her. Bravely, she raised her hand and knocked on the door. A voice welcoming her to open the door could be heard from the other side of the room.

"I'm expecting your visit today. But..." looking attentively at the incoming person, the woman stopped in her task, resting her reading glasses on the table before she continued. "I didn't expect you to be looking like this. Now, take a seat over there." her mentor motion at the two seated simple black sofa set in the office. That meant a really long talk with her mentor. A psychiatric session perhaps.

"Have you eaten, Shizuru?"

"Yes, sensei"

"As I can see, have you perhaps been drinking alcohol again, maybe last night? Or the night before?"

"Yes, I have. Last night, and the night before too"

"Until unconscious?"

"Yes..."

"Tell me about it. What troubles you?"

"Sensei, I..." something became stuck in her throat, stopping her from continuing. The lump felt hard to swallow. She shut her mouth in silence. After a long moment in silence, her sensei stood up from her seat and walk towards the counter.

"Do you want a glass of water?" the woman reached for a glass, filling it with mineral water before handing it over to Shizuru.

"Ookini." Shizuru slowly drank the cold water, it cold feeling was almost satisfying as it refreshed her hoarse throat.

"Like water..." her sensei began. "When we feel thirsty, we want to drink water..." taking a seat again, her sensei continued "Or is it because we need to drink water?"

"Ara, what do you mean, sensei?"

"Need and want are different things. We want to drink water because we feel thirsty, but humans need water to live, and human need to at least drink eight glasses of water every day. Now, what do you think the words 'need' or 'want' mean?

"I don't know."

"And that's why we need to know. 'Want' can never be satisfied as no matter how much we desire, our hunger for it will never be fulfilled. Whereas 'need' will always make us feel satisfied, as we do not need to over indulge in the things that make us feel good."

"How can I know if what I feel is merely want or need?"

"We had gone through this before, remember, Shizuru?" leaning back, her mentor smiled. "I still remember how you were... how long has it been? Ah, nine years already, and when was the last time you had sex?"

"This is different"

"How is it different?"

"Its breaking me apart."

"What is breaking you apart?"

"Her being sick, I have to endure all of this after how her life has treated her. And I should have known earlier not to issue her release."

"Hmm... which one is it? Is it for her to be the one receiving such a test? Or are you the one who made the fault?"

"I can't take it, anymore."

"What you can't take anymore? Tell me."

"Seeing her. I feel like I've been stabbed through my heart. I want to help her. I want her to live."

"Why?"

"Why?..."

_Why?_

"Is it because you want to amend your fault?"

"..."

"You do feel you want to touch her, don't you? You have an urge inside you that want to Taint her?"

"No… I won't do that. Not to her. I can never imagine myself doing that to her."

"Then... Do you have a feelings her?"

"She is my patient, of course I feel responsible for her."

"Being responsible is one thing. Now, she is not your patient. She is my patient so you don't have to feel responsible anymore. You should know, she is in good hands."

"I know."

"Setting aside those responsible feelings, I'm asking you again, do you have feelings for her?"

"I... don't know."

"Let me tell you then, my dear Shizuru." with a knowing smile, her mentor look into her apprentice's eyes directly as she lean forward "You are indeed falling for her."

"..."

"I take it from the silence, that your answer is a yes." her mentor chuckled.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Mai Hime/Otome is not mine, kids and adult, please, this is a fanfiction, which is a fiction written by fans. Its a fiction, mean that its a product of human imagination and ideas, so, don't mixed it in reality.**

**Again...this is a work of fiction. It does not related to any places, events or peoples except in my version of Mai Hime/Otome universe, as if it ever exist in the first place. Read at your own risk!**

**Again...thank you beta-chan!**

"I've found the most lonely place in your eyes, yet that's the place I want to live"

**Chapter 10 - Distant**

Silence, that's all she could hear. Her eyes trailed along the lines, the words took shape as her mind began to dream of a picture being drawn in her mind. Natsuki found this state to be her place of solitude, a place where she could escape the harsh realities of the world around. A small grunt escaped from her lips as she closed her book, her eyes being drawn towards the woman entering the room. As she placed her book on a nearby table, she got onto her feet as she walked to her bed while waiting for the doctor to finish reading her file. She never took the interest to read those files, even though it was about her own health condition. Most of all, she didn't like how doctor's handwriting looked like. It was hard to differentiate between the letters written by them. How they could understand other doctors handwriting is beyond Natsuki's comprehension. Human minds are full of miracles. "Anoo, sensei?"

"What is it, Kuga-san?"

"It been long since I last saw Dr Fujino."

"Fufu, do you miss her already? I told you, she has been temporarily transferred to another department."

Natsuki felt disappointed by the doctor's answer. Sometimes when she's alone, she would remember all those times when Shizuru would check on her, she felt something stuck in her heart that she couldn't put into word "Why? Is it because of me?"

"No, it's not because of you." Yohko kept her tongue silent, turning her attention to her patient.

"Let just say that, the Fallen Angel is not ready to return to heaven yet. She's still bounded to the human world. Now, do not think too much on other people and focus on yourself. I can see your health has stabilized. So, the medication period is over. But, we will continue on another stage of medication that will focus on your... illness."

"What?! More pills?" Natsuki whined, holding her arms close to her chest with them crossed.

_What's with the 'fallen angel' thing? I don't understand it at all._

"No complaining, save it for Dr Fujino, I'm sure she will be glad to entertain you. I have contacted the civil office and located your next kin. I will be having an appointment with your mother tomorrow. She will come visit you and sign a few documents needed for donor and surgery"

"I bet she will..." Natsuki just answered nonchalantly. It's not important if her mother would visit her or not. It's just the same for her.

"I'm sure she will, I'm confident with my persuasion skill."

"What makes you think you can convince her?"

"You are a psychologist and I was a psychotherapist. We are somewhat in the same field of psychology, so you tell me" Yohko-sensei grinned showing her small fang.

"Not interested." Natsuki just dismissed the playful manner of the conversation.

"Being indifferent and not interested is such an interesting way to escape from fact and facing disappointment. You are more stupid than my apprentice" she pointed her pen to Natsuki's nose but Natsuki immediately pushed the pen out of her vision.

"Stop comparing me to her. She's a damn... I don't know... crazy, maybe" she mumbled silently but Yohko still managed to hear her.

"Wow! Nice vocabulary you've chosen. I'm impressed you called the person who saved you a crazy. Now I feel sad for Shizuru after what she had done, like traveling all the way to Egypt just to find me and staying up late every night to find your illness, reading all those test results and files. My poor apprentice. I never thought I will see her fall from the wise and dignified Fujino into a stupid student by me, and crazy person by you. Poor Shizuru."

"If I'm not mistaken sensei, you are currently trying to enforce the guilt onto me by shifting the faults onto me"

"I can see you are not a bad psychologist. But... dense." Yohko stared up at the ceiling in a thinking manner "...and stupid." She chuckle. "Do you know who the Fujinos are?"

"What?" Natsuki raised her tone questioningly.

"You know, we doctors don't stupidly travel to the other side of the world just for a patient, let alone if the work becomes too difficult, even if we feel responsible for the faults we cause sometimes. For a Fujino, it's a hundred years if they would think of any hardship. Humans make mistakes. It can't be avoided. Well...maybe you are right. She is crazy. Crazily in...hmmm...never mind"

"What are you trying to implying, sensei?" Natsuki enquired.

"Let me give you some advice, don't be too hard on Shizuru. Be nice to her, it's not every day you could find someone who does any thing just for you, moreover, I think you don't need me to tell you your own psychological condition. You already know it yourself. Believe me, there's no harm in trusting people. If they stay on, you have a companion, but if they don't, you earn an experience. And not all people are the same. You know that too, so don't be too guarded, okay?"

Although still clueless on the doctor's advice, Natsuki just had to agree with her. Furthermore, she knew deep in her heart what Yohko-sensei said was true.

'_No harm in it. Is it?' _With that said, she just tried to understand and open herself to another person. She could accept Yohko-sensei, but Dr Fujino was a different case. Obviously, she and Yohko-sensei have some knowledge in psychology making their relation is more on a professional term. They have something in common. '_But with Dr Fujino, how should I begin? What can we talk about?'_ That's another thing she had to figure out. '_Clearly, this Yohko-sensei managed to manipulate me into being nice to Dr Fujino. Was I being too hard on her'?_

"Sensei, when can I see Dr Fujino?"

"Haha…" her doctor just laughed her off. "Impatient aren't we? I know you are ready to see her anytime, but I don't think it's the same for her. Give her some time."

"May I know why?"

"Like I said, the fallen angel is still bounded by the world's beauty that she become crazy"

"Sensei, would you stop answering my questions in a metaphorical way? I'm an objective and theory type person, so it's hard for me to understand what you mean unless you say it directly, and stop repeating my word in the wrong way."

"Not my place to tell you. You'll find out eventually. Anything else you need beside Crazy Shizuru?"

"I don't need her" she grumbled. "...and I need new book to read."

"Okay, I'll put it in my notes." Yohko replied as she made a mental note of Natsuki's request. "Kuga-san, books indeed are interesting to read, but they don't have any emotion and it's just a one way communication. Human beings live by interacting with other living things as a basic need as said by Maslow. Even if that other person is crazy. See you next check-up, Kuga-san."

"Okay...and quit with the crazy thing, baka!" Natsuki pout.

_'Human beings live by interacting with other living things as a basic need' you said? Since when do we live by the Maslow's theory nowadays? It's just a theory from an old man who lived a hundred centuries ago. Baka theory. Baka need. and... Baka Shizuru!'_

With that said Natsuki reached for her book nearby and resumed reading it. Silence once again filled the atmosphere, save for the ticking sounds coming from the clock hung up on the wall. _'Hmm_...' Emerald eyes drifted along the sentences in her book, her mind slowly began to wonder away from the book. _'Human psychology is like an iceberg. Part of it is under the water which is hard to see and measure._ _Part of the human mind... I already knew this theory. Sigmund Freud...'_

'_I wonder what the time is?' _Her eyes looked up from her book, checking the clock. _'3.40 pm. The afternoon shift will start in twenty minutes. The hallway sound rather quiet today. What happened in this unit? Ah… I forgot, I'm in the special unit and elite division. That means, less patients here since they also prioritise a patient's comforts'_

tick...tick..

'_Iyaahh... I just need to finish reading this book as soon as possible so I can proceed to reading the new one I've been asking Sagisawa -sensei to get._

**-Half an hour later-**

'_What did Sagisawa-sensei mean by Fallen Angel? Should I look them up in the dictionary? I've never heard the term before been used in any psychology theory, or in any written research. Unless it's the new theory that I haven't read yet. Where did she get those terms from? Fallen Angel, ka? Is it by any way related to Dr Fujino being transferred to another department? Dr Fujino..._

_tick..tick.._

"What happened to her? The last time I saw her was that morning. She had promised to take care me, Gah! Why would I want that? I've been alone for a long time and why would I want someone to change that? Baka!" she asked herself, ignoring the fact that people could hear her almost screaming at herself. "I can't take this anymore!" Natsuki pulled her hair in stress. "Baka woman! Devil woman! Baka, baka, baka! Where the hell are you? What happened to you? Why wouldn't you visit me?" with that Natsuki stormed out of her room.

The hallway had apparently less people today, Natsuki walked silently towards the exit of the department, following the signboard until she reached a junction.

Clueless on where she should go, she found another board on the left of the junction wall. The board was written with the list of doctors in the department and their room number. There were only fifteen doctors and specialists in the special unit department where every doctor specialises in their own field.

'_Ummm... What is Dr Fujino's field?'_

Reading from top of the list, she found Professor Sagisawa Yohko as the head of department and specialist in Diagnostic Medicine.

'_If I remember correctly, she said that Dr Fujino was her apprentice. Hmm...'_

She was right. Dr Fujino Shizuru's name was written under Dr Sagisawa name as the deputy head of the department, who also specialised in Diagnostic Medicine.

'_Wow! She was right when she said that she is the second in person in charge to refer to when in terms of an unknown case.'_

"Errmm... excuse me, miss. May I help you?"

Natsuki jump as she heard a soft voice from behind. "Ah, anoo... I, erm… I was looking for... Dr Fujino's office." Natsuki answered, averting her gaze elsewhere.

"Ah, if you are looking for Dr Fujino's office, it's on the left side at the end of this hallway. Just walk straight until you found Dr Sagisawa's Office, and Dr Fujino's office is on its left." the nurse smiled while pointing the way.

"A… arigatou..." Natsuki bowed, thanking the nurse before she started walking the path.

"But..." the nurse's voice stopped her in her tracks "If you're looking for Dr Fujino, she's not in her office now. She's been transferred to the Emergency Room. You can find her there."

"Emergency Room?" Natsuki turned back towards the nurse.

"If you need to look for Dr Fujino, the Emergency Room is at the second building. But, I don't think you should go there. It's like a living hell out there."

"A living hell?"

"Blood is everywhere, people dying and injured. Just a typical, hectic Emergency Room. Every hospital is like that"

"Erkk! A… arigatou." again, Natsuki bowed, but now she just stood in her place, thinking should she go there to look for Dr Fujino.

"Douitashimashite..." the nurse bowed and left her in the hallway.

Natsuki continued her venture to her destination, entering the second building of the hospital. Even standing in front of the closed doors of the Emergency Room, she could clearly hear the commotion inside. People screaming of pain, crying, nurse and doctors shouting in panic. All of that noise was making Natsuki nervous in revealing what's happening on the other side of the room.

Taking a step forward, she pushed the doors open and was immediately greeted with such a chaotic view of the dark side of the hospital. There's nothing alike in her elite department where the surroundings are quiet and peaceful. Blood was splattered everywhere,injured patients were being cut open or sewn back without painkiller, or maybe the painkiller wasn't working anymore. Death was everywhere. Families screaming and crying, it just like the nurse had said, a living hell. Looking around, Natsuki immediately spotted Dr Fujino tending to a patient who looked to have been involved in an accident. She was in the middle of doing something when suddenly blood was gushing out of the patient's mouth, tainting Dr Fujino's lab coat which made no difference on her coat as it looked to have lost its white colour a while ago from all the work. Her hands were drench in red blood. Some of the blood smeared her neck and cheek as she wiped them with her sleeve. **_(Warning: This is a work of fiction. The real Emergency Room is not like this. I just want to make it dramatic, thats all!)_** Hiding behind the curtain, she could see clearly Dr Fujino had dark circles under her eyes, her face couldn't hide the tiredness and lack of sleep and her appearance was unmanageable. Whatever has happened to her, it showed that Dr Fujino was having the worse time of her life out there. Her voice no longer sounded composed; there was no tilting, flirting voice or those same playful red eyes that stared deeply into her a while ago. Now her eyes just showed no emotion, they almost seemed lifeless and soulless.

Natsuki had seen enough. She never dared to step forward and close the distance. Instead, she retreated and hurried away from the Emergency Room, leaving Dr Fujino behind to fend for her life.

Again with the stupid Author note:

Diagnostic Medicine - as in Dr House department :P (hey! it be interesting..wonder if Dr House will also appear in this story.."

Honestly...I hate this site auto-checked..it always deleted certain words from my story, and I have to repeatly re-read my story to make sure nothing change.


	11. Chapter 11

**" **my heart burn and yell for you, yearn of your touch, but when I reach you, it left nothing but peace"

**Chapter 11-Chance**

"DR FUJINO! We need you here!" another call from the nurse not far from where Shizuru was working. She was in the middle of sewing back the cut on her patient; the deep wound wasn't helping her situation as she looked for another nurse to take over.

"Chie-san! Take over!" Shizuru looked at the young doctor who had very bad luck since her first assignment in department was the Emergency Room but despite that, the new doctor is calm and very measured in her actions. Chie is known for being the best young doctor who has risen up the ladder of medicine in the Emergency Room. People called her ER Rookie. Maybe for her, being appointed in the ER is not such bad luck after all.

Shizuru, on the other hand, clearly never get accustomed to the place. Of course, she has sometimes been called to the Emergency Room if there is a patient with unknown illness or needing a diagnosis from the specialist that's related to the case. But staying permanently in the Emergency Room is beyond her comfort zone. Moreover, with all the blood and the screams of agony from the patients, it could be the end of her sanity. But she didn't have any choice right now; it's an order from her mentor. She must stay there until Yohko has told her she can leave. She's still questioning the decision her mentor made for her.

Yohko has known her for years and knew her mental and physical condition back to front. So, why would Yohko put her in the current situation where her sanity and wellbeing were being tested? It's like making her condition worse when she had more than enough toworry about. What was her problem again? Ah! Her mentor believed she was falling for her own patient and that it's obstructed her judgement in medical diagnosis.

**-A few days ago-**

"Let me tell you then my dear, Shizuru." with a knowing smile her mentor looked into her apprentice's eyes directly as she leaned forward "You are indeed falling for her."

"..."

"I take it from the silence, that your answer is a yes." her mentor chuckled.

"Sensei..."

"Are you still denying it?" her mentor asked, staring at her with her sharp eyes. Shizuru knew for sure she was being observed by her mentor. It's like her soul was bare open in front of her mentor, her eyes deciphering and unravelling the puzzles in her soul. She can't hide anything from her.

"I'm sorry..." Shizuru looked down at her feet, which was more interesting for her than her mentor staring at her.

"For what?" Yohko's voice tilting slightly but still soft and warm, indicating an understanding.

"For having a bias view towards this patient." Shizuru looked straight at her mentor, watching a smile form on her mentor's face.

"So, you admit you had a feeling for this patient?" a victory smile.

"No, I..." Shizuru averted her eyes to her sides, still trying to calm her heart beat.

"I'm not going to blame you if you are, love can be a strength for us. But it also makes us weak. So Shizuru, which path are you following of love? Strength? Weakness?"

Shizuru stared at the ground while contemplating her mentor's question. '_My love, my heart, is it giving me strength or weakening me?'_

She was reminded back at her failure in determining Natsuki's illness; clearly showed that her heart, her love, was weakening her. Slowly Shizuru answered the question with her trembled voice.

"...weakness. I think it has blinded my judgement in diagnosis."

"Therefore, I want it to become a strength to you." her mentor showed determination.

"How?" Shizuru look ahead for hope.

"Hmmm, let's see..." Yohko made a thinking pose as she tapped her pen on her forehead "The Emergency Room needs another doctor since they have been really short on staff lately. Work there! I will transfer you there until you find how."

"...that's not the answer that I was hoping from you, sensei" Shizuru smile dismally.

"I can't give you all the answers in the world. Different people have different points of view. My answer will not always be the answer you'll be looking for. Only you yourself know how to find that answer. Well then, you will be working there starting tomorrow, I'll handle all the transfer procedures today. I'm sure they are more than happy to accept your transfer; moreover, you are the specialist they need most. You will get along well with the Emergency rookie there."

"Emergency Rookie?"

"You'll see..." Yohko's devilish smile revealed her little fang as she chuckled.

**-Back at the Emergency Room-**

Shizuru stood next to the bed of an accident case. She needed to stop the bleeding from her patient's abdomen, resulting in her taking out the metal piercings in the abdomen. As she slowly retrieved out the metal, the patient coughed fiercely, spewing blood from his mouth. The metal had not only pierced the patient's abdomen, more so it had pierced the patient's lung. Taking out the metal meant she had to open up the wound on the lung. Without caring for the deep red blood that was now staining her lab coat, she immediately shoved her hand inside the chest area. Upon finding the open wound area and squeezed it shut and clipped the scalpel. Wiping her cheek, she called for the nurse to send the patient to ICU Unit for emergency surgery. At that moment, maybe, just maybe, out of her miss for Natsuki, she thought she saw Natsuki's back from the corner of her eyes. But she doubted it, it was impossible for Natsuki to be there, let alone going to see her.

"Dr Fujino..."

"Hai... What is it, Chie-san?"

"Sagisawa-sensei called. She asked you to see her now."

"Hai. I'll be there after this one" Shizuru attended to another patient in front of her.

_-0-0-_

The soft knocks against the wooden door brought the attention of the mahogany haired woman as she lowered her pen. "Come on in, Shizuru." She called out, not even bothering to turn and see if her guess was right.

The door opened as Shizuru stepped into the cool office. Walking towards the table, Shizuru noticed there was someone else in the room who was currently lying on the sofa. Another one of sensei's patient? Or, a visitor?

"I can see you are in a really bad state right now. You're... looking like a butcher." Turning her violet eyes upon her apprentice, Yohko didn't seem the least bit surprised or shocked at Shizuru's appearance. Shizuru stood before her with her lab coat stained with a red liquid, although her hands were already clean, her neck still had a little smear of the blood.

"There was an accident case."

"Haha, so how's ER treat you?"

"Very...nice… I'm sure of that" Shizuru replied sarcastically.

"I bet you have enough time already playing saviour in the ER. Chie told me you look beaten there, like a deer entering a town." Yohko laughed at the end of her comment. Observing carefully at Shizuru, she continued "Yep, she's right. You are badly beaten. Leaving nothing untouched"

"I still have not found my answer..."

"You have seen the Angel of Death in the ER, you've seen the hellish side of this hospital. It is out of your comfortable zone, so how do you feel?"

"I feel... tired."

"Aside from being tired, seeing all that blood, being tainted and bathed in the red colour. How does that make you feel?"

Shizuru turned her weary crimson eyes towards the mirror, gazing upon her own form being reflected. It's like she was out of bloodbath war zone, fresh and overall beaten.

"Satisfied, are you?" Yohko whispered. "It feels so great and exhilarating? Exciting and hungry?"

Shizuru swallowed hard. She felt her throat going dry as she nodded.

"Okay! Now you are ready to go back to your own department!" Yohko clapped her hands.

"What!?" Shizuru jolted at her mentor's words unexpectedly. "Why?"

"Because, you will find your answer there."

"But, you told me, I will find my answer in ER too, and yet..." Shizuru was bewildered. She didn't even understand what her mentor was thinking.

"You already found it in ER. It the first step to find your real answer. Next...go back here..." Yohko looked carefully at Shizuru from head to toe. "But first, go back home, clean yourself up and take a rest. You will start your shift here tomorrow and I'll give you your first assignment."

**-0-0-**

Standing in front of the white door, Shizuru glanced at the name plate of the patient's name on the left. "Kuga, Natsuki"

'_How long has it been since I last saw her? 3 weeks? No... One month, 2 days and 18 hours. How is she? What should I say when I see her? How should I act? Should I act like nothing had ever happened?' _

Her hand gripped the door handle lightly as she twisted it and pulled the door open. She was stopped by the view in front of her as it left her speechless. Natsuki was standing in front of her with wide eyes, her green pupils clearly contracting in shock by her appearance. Her hand is in the position in the middle of reaching the door handle.

"A... Ara?"


End file.
